CollegeConfessional.net

What is it with me and my inability to have relationships? I don’t understand
what it is that is wrong with me. friends tell me that they think men find me
intimidating because im in school at whatever. I’m not intimidating!!! Seems
like I can only ever become friends with guys or else they are just looking for
a one night stand. What I don’t understand is how there are those girls who have
a different boyfriend every month. An actualy boyfriend with the title and all.
Why is it that I only ever end up going on ‘off-the-record’ dates?? To be 21 an
never have had a real boyfriend. How pathetic.

Right now I like someone who is in a long-distance relationship (under a year).
We ‘dated’ off-the-record last summer but it didn’t work out because he moved
away to go back to school. Then he finished and is back for good now but met
that girlfriend of his there. I just don’t see how he can get more out of her
hardly ever seeing her than he could out of me. He told me he is still very
attracted to me and we held hands the other week. I don’t want him to cheat on
her. I don’t think he would anyway. I just want him to myself. Sigh….this
will sound conceited but she really is not very attractive. I’m not just saying
that. Probably really sweet or something. Sigh….I always watch other people
enjoy what I want. For anyone who is in a relationship you should know that you
are so lucky. I want to love someone.

It seems to take a lot for someone to break up with someone for someone else.
Makes me feel like I’m not good enought. I hate wanting someone I can’t have :(