I just recently found out that a girl I worked with, and have maintained a
friendship with for over a year is addicted to cocaine. She was always broke
and depressed, and I suspected it, but I have been having her over to my house
a lot lately, and she mentioned something about it. Others have said that
every payday she gets it, and is broke two days later. She is always broke,
but has cheap rent, and works full time for a decent wage. She borrows money
constantly. She kept doing it, and started doing it every hour, then, every
half hour, then like every 15 minutes. She was dropped off at home before she
ran out, so I don’t know what shes going through now, I haven’t heard from her.
My dilemma: I know where its coming from, and I want to call the police. I
didn’t directly see anything, but i have info. I have been cautioned to not
contact the police, but I still want to. I’m afraid if I call, they will pick
the person up, and other addicts will suffer, not knowing how to get help. My
friend is kind hearted, but does need help. Should I make the call?
confession n. A written or oral statement acknowledging guilt, made by one who has been accused or charged with an offense.
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It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.
— Oscar Wilde
It's kind of like being in someone's head while they're praying or thinking about things they'd never say outloud.
— Yaflapkik
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April 24th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
As a former cocaine addict, I know what your friend is going through, and I think I can offer some advice. If you are going to make a call, I would suggest making an anonymous one to your local police, or crimestoppers. Unfortunately, police are very swamped nowadays so a small-time nickel and dime drug dealer might not be a huge priority for them. But calling is not such a bad idea. Just be careful, the last thing you want is drug dealers chasing you down for snitching.
By the way, if they pick up the drug dealer, your friend will not suffer. She will just ask her other drug addict friends where to get it. Back in the day, my friend and I would spend hours wandering around downtown asking random strangers if they knew where we could get drugs. EVERY single time, we found someone who supplied us. It always took a few hours, but we got it. So believe me, if one drug dealer gets caught that will not lead to “suffering” for the addicts due to lack of a fix.
As for your friend, the only thing you can do it tell her you know what’s going on and offer to help out by persuading her to go into rehab. STOP STOP STOP giving her money - you are only enabling her that way. Tell her if you are going to spend money on her, you will only do it to help pay for her rehab. But the last thing I must say, is that NO amount of pleading will stop. The only reason I stopped was because my friends sat me down told me how I had changed for the worse, and told me everything that was wrong with me since my addiction. That persuaded me to look at myself and stop. I also switched schools and got away from a lot of the losers I was hanging out with. So your best bet will probably be an intervention, get a bunch of her friends/family, or do it yourself, and try to get her to get help, or tell her how her attitude has changed. And if she DOESN’T get help, you need to STOP all contact with her and tell her you will not see her anymore or lend her money. Contact a local interventionist/rehab centre for some more help on this as well. Good luck.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:20 am
Thank you very much #1. i also really appreciate that no one else has added insults to this, so thank you. This is a very serious thing for me, and i do really care about my friend, and I want to help her. She is a mother of four children, whom she hasn’t been able to see because they live a few hours away and she never has money to travel because of the cocaine. I am very glad i heard this from a recovering addict, as well. How hard is it to stay clean after treatment?
April 28th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
No problem. Staying clean I think really depends on the individual person and the reasons behind their addiction. I left high school and went to college…Once I was there I was able to meet some really wonderful people. I gradually cut back once I had school priorities to take care of and then I eventually stopped. But the people around me were a huge help, I got away from the losers I was hanging around with in high school who were not really friends, they were just there since I always had drugs on me.
It’s hard to quit and stop. You have to really want to do it. I’ll admit there are still times when I’m craving it, it’s a lifelong process. But I think the key (and they will tell you this in rehab too), is to avoid the people and scenarios that got you into that trouble in the first place. I also had some problems where I heard rumours that my so-called “friends” were planning on beating me up for drugs and money - that scared me straight. I didn’t stop overnight, it gradually took some time. It is hard, but fortunately with cocaine there is little in terms of physical withdrawls (when compared to something like heroin, which can cause very serious physical problems if you suddenly stop).
But the main thing is for her to really WANT to get clean. She has to be willing to accept that she has an addiction and wants to stop. This was the key for me. Just sit down and talk to her about her problems. If she can see she has an addiction and can at least reduce hanging around these people it will be a start.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I agree with the other poster.. get help for your friend.. but DO NOT call the cops on anyone… the last time you want is a drug dealer coming after you… and it won’t really help your friend get clean if her dealer goes to jail…
May 6th, 2009 at 6:36 am
Thank you so much for your advice, I’m listening. i talked to her about it, and she told me she only does it four times a year, I told her I was concerned. I have seen signs more than 4 times this year. Today is her payday, so I am waiting to see what she does. Takeing time off from treatment will ruin her career.
May 7th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I find it funny that she said her career will be ruined if she takes time off for treatment. It won’t be. However, it WILL be if she continues this way, when her addiction gets out of control, it’s only a matter of time. She could get caught by the police for cocaine possession, and end up in jail, or get fired from her job now if her addiction gets worse and she is caught with drugs or being under the influence on the job. So mention that to her, next time she uses the job excuse to avoid treatment.
May 18th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I wanted to give you, # 1 an update on this. YOU changed someones life for the better. It was more than 4 times a year, she and I had a deep felt heart to heart talk. I told her I thought she needed treatment. She agreed with me. I didn’t rat on the dealer, but my friend agreed to go to the hospital for detox. then, they referred her to a rehab program, which she gladly accepted. I took her from detox to the facility. She will be in for over a year reprogramming her thought processes. We were in tears when she got there. she wants to get better soooo bad, and I will be helping her every step. Thank you sooo much, I hope you come back to this post to read it..
May 18th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Don’t worry, I read this website all the time! haha
But anyways, I’m so glad I could help :) I know what she’s going through. Cocaine is very much a mental addiction, so the fact that she wants to get help is a big step. And honestly, I didn’t do much, YOU DID. I didn’t go to a rehab program, but it was my close friends that helped me get away from the destructive people in my life and realize that I needed to get clean. Don’t underestimate your influence, it’s hard to meet real friends when you’re surrounded by phony people who are only around you since you’re doing drugs. I’m glad she had someone like you to look out for her and be there…