CollegeConfessional.net

In one of my courses, I learned the idea of cumulative continuity. It’s a theory
of personality development, and it basically states that a person’s preferences
guide him or her into environments that reinforce that preference, thereby
sustaining and strengthening it.

This struck me personally because I’ve always thought of myself as “shy” and
have been labeled as such throughout life.. and I’m not changing, or getting
‘better’. It’s been worrying me especially lately because of my career choice.
I’d like to work as a therapist, but I’m not outgoing and people see me as
distant. It feels like I’m doomed to be an outsider, and I don’t know how to
fix it…

My family members from out of state, whom I don’t particularly care for, are
staying at my house right now because another family member is ill in hospice.
This morning, I noticed that my aunt had pulled my bar soap out of the shower to
wash her face, leaving it sitting on the sink. Usually, I’m the only one who
uses my bathroom, thus I’m usually the only one who uses the soap. I’ve never
been particularly fond of using a washcloth. Is it wrong that I take pleasure
in knowing that she washed her face with soap that’s been rubbed up and down my
buttcrack numerous times? (I do use different soap for my face)

I graduated college, got an amazing job offer, and met a great guy. However, I
have something in my past that is holding me back right now, that is very hard
to deal with. I finally found a wonderful person for the first time in my life
who has been trying to help me, but unfortunately she doesn’t have the time
or the skills needed to keep helping me as much as we’d both like. I feel so
alone now, and the feelings of doubt of whether I can overcome what happened
throughout my past (child abuse) are starting to dominate. I think I’ve
decided that the only way to end how alone I feel is to give up. I hate to
think I’ve even come to that decision, because I’m not a quitter and I
don’t want to give up I have so much to look forward to, and I feel it would
be so selfish of me, but I don’t know what to do anymore, and no where to
turn.

You are such a bitch sometimes. You almost seem happy when I fail. Or you give
me the “aww too bad” speech while the expression on your face looks like you’re
not genuine/sincere about it.

You know, it’s not really my fault that you made certain choices in life. (And
it’s not too late for you either). Life is what you make it. No one fucking
forced you to become an alcoholic. Some of the things you have done were from
years and years ago. Stop being so shallow and insecure and get over yourself.

It’s not too late for you, you just need to change your attitude. Yeah, maybe
life didn’t turn out the way you wanted, but you have a great job and looks and
are pretty intelligent. Grow the fuck up already and stop trying to build
yourself up by putting others down.

So, I don’t know how to begin this. Umm…. so most girls that I know are
dying to get a breast implants. Me on the other hand want to get a reduction.
It’s not because I have back pain ( the most common, reason for people to get
a reduction) But because I’m an extremely shy person. All my friends praise
me, and tell me how lucky I am to have them, but I’m embarrassed of them. I
just don’t know how to feel proud of them, and I don’t want to get surgery
either………any advice?

i would soooo dump my boyfriend for ellen page. he asked me if i would, and i
said no… but i feel kinda guilty because i would in a heart beat. oooops.

so I said I’d update, here it is.
My boyfriend and I talked about the whole other girl thing. he said he didn’t
realize he was talking to her like that.
he lied to me about it he said he thought it would have made things better but
he was wrong.
he basically said he’s always wanted me and only me, now he’s realizing it more
because we were both so close to ending it, neither of us want that.
we both have a few things to work on but mostly him.
he knows it’s going to take a lot from him and a lot of time for me to trust
him again. he said he’s willing to do what it takes to make things right
between us again.
he realizes how much he wants this to work, so do I.
we had a long talk about everything I told him how I felt and how HIS friends
were getting mad at him for 1 talking to her like that and 2 for making me feel
the way he did.
he says I’m the only one he wants and the only one he’s ever really wanted,
which I believe. before we dated he never did anything with anyone else. no
serious relationships no kiss nothing. so I believe him.
I know I’m still going to have trouble believing things he says right now. All
I can do is try to make it work.
if this ever happens again though there is going to be no other chance. I’m
still really really upset over everything thats gone on and how he made me feel
but thats only going to take time to get over.
hopefully things will change and everything will work out.

When I go to my classes now I sit as far from the door as possible.

Some of my teachers are going to start locking the doors.

Things like Virgina Tech, Colombine, and Northern Illinois shouldnt be
happening…

I am scared to go to classes, but even more scared to tell anyone that.

I posted something the other day about my bf and him talking to some other girl.

well… basically we talked about it and he lied to me about her saying she
liked him. I got mad, it’s nothing big so I have NO idea why he lied.
It takes me a long time to trust someone, once you break that trust it takes
even longer to bulid it back.
he said he sees now more than ever he wants things to work out with us. we
talked for about 5 or 6 hours about everything, we worked it out.
well now I saw he sent a friend picts of her.
what should I think of that? is it his friend wanted to see what she looked
like, does he really like her, is he bragging about it, what?
I thought everything was getting better, I don’t know whats going on. we are
going to talk later tonight.
plus I talked to people about whats going on and post something on here,
EVERYONE has said they same thing, his best friend (which is also my
bestfriend) is mad at him and doesn’t really want to talk to him right now.
I’m just so confused.
I’ll post about what happens later.

I have a love/hate relationship with literary theory. I feel strange around my
literature friends who adore it. I kind of just grin, grind my teeth, and
pretend to love it too. I do love it, but I hate talking about it. I guess
that’s what I really hate.. the pretention associated with it. I just want to
scream “Shut up and stop being pretentious.” But I can’t because I’m so
involved in academia. I would be perceived as a hypocrite.